Should we trust our unhappy thoughts?

Mother and business woman Byron Katie became clinically depressed in her mid-thirties. Leading up to this time, she suffered from an eating disorder and an array of other serious health problems. As a result, Ms. Katie became suicidal. She also refused to leave her bedroom for nearly two years.

One morning in February of 1986 — while in a halfway house for women with eating disorders — Ms. Katy experienced a life-changing realization. She called it “waking up to reality” and described it using these words: “I discovered that when I believed my thoughts, I suffered. But when I didn’t believe them, I didn’t suffer. And this is true for every human being. Freedom is as simple as that. I found that suffering is optional. I discovered a joy within me that has never disappeared, not for a single moment.”

It was an epiphany which ultimately led to a spiritual awakening. Ms. Katie went on to name her method of self-inquiry “The Work.” It’s based on four questions and a simple process called a “turnaround.”

First, identify your original, limiting thought. Then ask the following four questions:

1. Is it true?
2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
3. How do you react and/or what happens when you believe this thought?
4. Who would you be without this thought?

Finally, state the opposite of your limiting thought. This process can be utilized alone or with another person. When alone, use a pencil and paper to write each question, response, and turnaround. In the company of another person, verbalize each question, response, and turnaround.

Here’s an example. Suppose your limiting thought – the one which causes anxiety or unhappiness – is: “My mother never loved me.” Is it true? (I think so.) Can I absolutely know that it’s true? (Probably not.) What happens when I believe this thought? (I feel rejected and angry.) Who would I be without this thought? (A happier, more peaceful person.) The “turnaround” is: “My mother always loved me.” Next, reflect on evidence which supports the more positive “turnaround” thought. Perhaps you will find that the opposite of your original, limiting thought is actually closer to reality.

In the “turnaround” process, the limiting thought can also be restated to apply to one’s self. Thus, “My mother never loved me” may turn into “I never loved my mother” or become “I never loved myself”. Ms. Katie summarizes “The Work” as: Judge your neighbor, write it down. Ask four questions, turn it around. Her method results in the “undoing” of thoughts, which is often more helpful than adding new ones.

Unhappy thoughts are typically driven by the ego. With this in mind, should they be trusted? Until the next time, enjoy autumn’s vibrant colors and energizing coolness. Glory be to the Father!

John